Saturday 11th February – How Did He Survive Without Me?

Our goal today was to hit as much as possible on clay courts. After a pretty late start to the morning, I found a few nearby parks and when I called to enquire about clay courts, the lady on the phone just said “I’ll Google it,” in response to each of my questions, so not very helpful. We drove on down to Potter Park, even though I was sure the public courts would be hardcourt because surely any clay courts would belong to a club because they require maintenance. Sure enough, I was right. We saw the courts were hard as soon as we pulled in. That wouldn’t do, Bernie needed clay to get him in good form for the tournament.

I was getting a bit antsy at this point. It was nearly 11am and I hadn’t done anything yet! On top of that, my rear mountain bike tire had gone flat AGAIN, from another cut in the sidewall. I was fed up. While Bernie got talking to a lady in the carpark, I called a few bike shops asking about a new tyre. The first was not very helpful, the lady on the phone kept repeating my questions to a guy close by until I eventually asked her to just put him on the phone to save everyone some time. Yes, I was irritable. They had only one tyre to offer and it didn’t sound ideal. The next shop was a little out of the way, but had a wider range of 26×2”, a size that has gone well out of fashion. I told Bernie I’d meet him at the Meadows tennis club, the place we were going to try next and off I went.

As soon as I walked in to the bike shop and said “26 inch mountain bike tyre” the guy gave me a face and I knew it wasn’t going to go well. He was straight up with me, saying that yes they had some but they were all cheapies and he was dead right. They were the kind of thing you’d put on your Mum’s cruiser. More irritated, I drove on to the Meadows. A very fancy Country Club with a golf course and tennis club surrounded by fancy condos, I was easily out of place. Bernie wasn’t there yet, he obviously got carried away chatting (easy to imagine). I went inside the clubhouse and said I was here to have a hit with my Grandfather, who was playing in next week’s tournament. The old man behind the desk couldn’t have been more rude. “Where’s your Grandfather?” he asked in a sceptical tone. I told him he was on his way. “When I seem him, I’ll give you a court.” Well thanks for being prejudice against a young person. I walked out to find Bernie just at that moment and as soon as the old man saw Bernie, straight away, it was “I’ll put you on court 13”. Asshole.

By this stage, I was absolutely chomping at the bit to get into some tennis action so I went and got the tennis stuff out of Bernie’s car. I patiently waited, joining a small peanut gallery watching a doubles game, while Bernie talked to yet more people. FINALLY, we got to our court and opted for the one next to it because it had some shade. Since my shoes weren’t flat soles, I borrowed a pair of Bernie’s white New Balance sneakers which were only two sizes too big so I didn’t cut up the court too much. Being right on lunch time, it was the hottest it had been in the last few days so the shade was welcome. We did a small warm-up then got straight into it. Bernie it a firm believer that just hitting around on the court introduces bad habits of hitting balls right back to your opponent during a match.

Things were going well to start with, I was getting more than half of my first serves in and my double-handed backhand was actually getting over the net from time to time! I managed to get four games off Bernie in the first set, 6-4. All went to hell in the second, I only got me one game. So, I was beaten again by the master and my mood now was one of pure frustration. I was so mad that I couldn’t get my game together, even if it was only after two days of play, I expected more progress! Bernie understood my frustration and was consoling.

Ready for lunch, we went back out to the carpark and I made us some wraps. Before I got to that, Bernie had somehow splashed water on his phone and it had got under his screen protector. He struggled for a bit with it, then eventually relinquished it to me to fix for me. Bernie had himself a cup of milk to go with it. We sat under the shade of a tree while we ate and Bernie continued one of his life stories about his promiscuities in his youth. At one point he had a bet with his friend to sleep with seven different ladies in seven days without going on a date! He got close, getting to four in a row! Apparently he was something of a Robert Redford back in his day. I’m waiting for him to send me a photo of him in his youth to prove it, but the four in a row kind of proves that.

It became very clear that Bernie was going to be talking for a while, so I interrupted him and went to get my bike off the roof and patch some tubes as he talked. Even though I had a couple of new tubes, I refused to sacrifice them to the worn tyre so I patched a couple of tubes instead, hoping for the best. Mid-story and mid-bike fix, a man pulled up in an MX-5 and of course Bernie got talking to him. His name was Steve and he was a colleague of a man who runs a tennis club in the area. Bernie was ecstatic and made sure to give Steve a copy of his book to give to his boss. He was so excited at the potential opportunity he had to get on the phone right away and tell his friend and his wife. Bernie remained beside himself with glee for a good hour and couldn’t sit still. He asked me, maybe I should go in and find Steve to talk about my book some more. I advised against it, for fear of overdoing it, and suggested he leave a note on the MX-5 instead. He was happy with that and since my handwriting is better than his, he dictated to me as I scribed out a note to explain how keen he would be to do some business with his boss.

By the time we were done with all that, it was time for more tennis. I gathered the gear while Bernie head back to the clubhouse. When I found him, lo and behold, he was talking to someone! John had a beautiful yellow lab as a service dog, his name Chester. The three of us (and the puppy) sat down to chat some and I was astounded to find out that Chester is trained to tell John, a diabetic, when his glucose level went below 40 or above 120. We witnessed this while we were talking as Chester pawed at John’s legs.

We moved on to an open court to have one more hit in the late afternoon, it was a beautiful time of day. John and Chester watched on as my form went completely to shit. 6-1, 6-0 this time, an absolute embarrassment, but it didn’t get me down. My mood had improved ever since scribing the letter for Bernie. John had left us to sort out his glucose situation and he came back, racquet in hand, just as we had finished up. Bernie was keen to get into the bar and watch a basketball game so I was happy that John was keen for a hit to save me from having to watch a boring basketball game. He was grateful for the chance of a hit and I was grateful for the chance of more practice. We had a decent hit and Chester took the opportunity to have a nap while his master played. We hit back and forth for about half an hour as the sun set behind the trees, it was a perfect end to the day.

John called it and we sat by the court a while as he checked his glucose and found that it was extremely low thanks to the workout. We went straight to the bar and got him a Coke to set him right. Bernie was already enjoying a red wine so he bought me a beer. The pint of Yuengling Lager was one of the best beers I have ever tasted and at less than $5 it was the right price. While the three of us chatted away, I got a call from Kaila and was happy to hear she was feeling much better than the last time I’d talked to her and that she had a package of mail for me. Her timing couldn’t have been better. When I got off the phone, I asked John, who was staying at a nearby condo, if he could receive my mail for me. He was happy to and I was even happier. Perfect that my package was ready when I knew where I would be for the next few days. Kaila also gave me some inside info about the delayed Space X launch and found out it is likely to launch on Feruary 18th and not be delayed again. I’m yet to make a decision as to whether I’ll stick around. I am hesitant to let Elon Musk dictate my activities so there’s that to consider.

I walked John and Chester back to their condo where John gave me the address to send my mail to and we chatted a while, exchanging numbers so we could catch up for some more light tennis tomorrow. I was excited that I’d have a spectating buddy for Bernie’s match on Monday. Back at the bar, I found that Bernie was on his second glass of wine so I got another beer and joined him. We swapped more stories, making each other laugh and laugh. By 9pm, we were the only ones in the bar and were getting kicked out. We were both too tipsy to drive anywhere so I cooked us some dinner in the carpark while Bernie smoked and talked. We had salad for entrée, then ate our chicken and pesto pasta inside the van, Bernie in the comfy chair. After I’d done the dishes and with food in our bellies, we were balanced enough to drive ten minutes to a nearby Walmart.

Camp wasn’t ideal for Bernie, who had to set up his tarp and mattress behind a hedge away from his car (which he never locks), but I was parked next to the car so could look out for it. Another fun day with Bernie.

Side note: On top of making Bernie lunch and fixing his phone, he also relies on me for electricity, charging his phone, his spare batteries and his bluetooth headphones thanks to my solar panel. I often asked him what he does in these situations without me around and he couldn’t really give me a straight answer. Bless him, I think he might follow me over to Arizona.