I had to wait for the bathroom this morning, ah the joys of hostel life, but it was only for a few minutes. I was happy that I wouldn’t be sleeping here again. Still in recovery/relaxed mode, I walked around the corner to the same café I’d had breakfast at yesterday. The waitress recognised me and I asked for the “usual” and she obliged, but my regular seat was taken so I took the window and watched the world go by as I munched on my toast. I still didn’t have any jam, just playing it safe with butter. I checked in at home and discovered that the hot water system in my house is leaking and needs replacement. My agent sent me a quote for nearly $2,000. Ouch. After I called my Dad for advice and he informed me the quote was reasonable, so I gave the ok. Ah the joys of home ownership (words of my father).

Administration for the day complete, I was off on my own walking tour. Today I would be exploring the other side of the river which I hadn’t crossed yet. I stopped off mid-bridge to take a stroll around the park that was on an island in the middle of the river, snow crunching beneath my feet, it was a clear day so I got a great view of the city from down low. I was also the only one there. Ah the joys of serenity.

Onwards, I found myself at the base of Petrin park. I’d seen a cable car line on my tourist mapso planned to go up the only hill in Prague via that. Before I got there though, I saw a monument to victims of communism and the Hunger Wall which extended from where I stood on the street all the way up the moutain with what looked like stairs on top of it. It would have been a rough climb.

I found the cable car station easily enough. I felt a bit lame not walking up the hill through the park, but I was considering my illness, forcing myself to be an average tourist for once. There weren’t too many people inside the station so I had time to figure out the ticketing machines. I planned to buy two tickets, one for now and one for my tram ride to Bla Bla transport later. I had success with the first, but the machine kept rejecting my perfectly good Czech coins while trying to buy the second. As dozens of people crowded into the station, I gave it away and joined the line to the entry gate. It was a slow process getting everyone’s ticket validated but eventually all 40-50 of us were on the small cable car tram. after standing inside the tram for a good ten minutes, the driver joined us and we started our ascent of the hill. It was slow going, but it was good, it allowed us to admire the view of the city. The trip was very short, we were at the top within five minutes. I was glad I’d only paid 24 CZK for the privilege.

The entire park was covered in snow and the top wasn’t any different. The wind at the top of the hill also brought a special chill. I was the only one that turned left out of the tram station, wanting to see what was at the top of the Hunger Wall. Everyone else turned right. Obviously they knew something I didn’t, but I happily explored on my own. I found a few lookout points and ventured into a property I probably wasn’t supposed to, but it was nice to be in semi-nature after so long in built-up cities, even if it was a city park. Prague looks beautiful with its faded green Baroque domes, terracotta rooves and blackened gothic towers.

I took photos of all of the buildings I didn’t want to pay to get in to, a trend that would continue throughout the day. I declined to go up the lookout tower since the hill gave a pretty good view down the hill already, I didn’t need an extra fifty meters or so. It looked a lot like the Eiffel too so I didn’t want to encourage a rip off. My scarf was wrapped tightly around my face as I walked through the rest of the park towards Prague Castle, staving off the wind and keeping my nose warm.

Right out of the park was the Monastery which ha dmore buildings I didn’t want to pay to go in to. I did use their foyers to warm myself up a bit, pretending to consider the price of entry and feigning interest in the souvenirs they had in their shops. I wandered the courtyard listening to the bells toll. I have no idea what time they were supposed to be signifying, they just kept ringing and ringing. There was probably a guy up in the tower just having fun pulling on a rope.

The Monastery led me to another sweet view point of Prague. I stood amongst the tourists shouting into the phones on video chats and girls fussing about with their hair with a selfie stick held up in front of them and tried to just take it in. It really is a beautiful city from a distance. I was grateful for the clear day.

Next, I went towards the Loreta Church, expecting free stuff because it’s a church. Nope, entry fee. Their foyer wasn’t even heated so I didn’t spend any time in there, despite quite a lot of tourists handing over their money for the experience. Back outside, I ran into a walking tour run by the same company I’d had one with yesterday. I subtly hung around for a bit and learnt that the Palace across from the Loreta was built by a rich and famous family that wanted to prove their wealth by building such a grand palace. It was a great plan until they finished it and realised they couldn’t afford the upkeep so sold it almost immediately. Ah, the joys of being filthy rich?

At Prague castle, I was shocked to find a queue at the gates. I realised immediately after that I was stupid to be shocked. This was the biggest castle in the WORLD, of course it is going to have a queue. I wandered around the outside courtyard first and took in another view of the city and watched the guards standing stiffly at the front gates before I joined the line that stretched out along the cobblestones. The line moved quickly enough and I managed to see a changing of the guard while waiting. All ceremony with holding up guns, putting them down and strutting around like penguins, but tradition is tradition I guess. At the head of the line, I discovered we were lining up only for a security check performed by the police. I was pissed off there was no information about the castle on the outside. Nothing about pricing to inform you what you were queuing up for. I was happily surprised to find out that entrance to the castle grounds is absolutely free. It’s admittance to the buildings you have to pay for. This was where I was willing to fork out some dough.

Inside the visitor’s information centre, I paid 250CZK for the “Circuit B” ticket. It suited me just fine, covering all of the historical buildings, but not any of the museums. My first stop was the cathedral, obviously the grandest building within the compound. I was annoyed to find that there was no one checking tickets at the entrance. Who are these people that haven’t paid for the privilege? Turns out anyone can get in, but only ticket holders can walk beyond the front foyer. The stained glass windows in here were stunning, if a bit modern. Like all other cathedrals, it had grand high ceilings and lots of little chapels around the outside all telling their different stories.

It hurt to go outside back into the cold, not that the cathedral had the greatest heating. I walked through the courtyard and into the Old Royal Palace where you weren’t allowed to take any photos unless you bought a “license” for 50CZK. Ah, the joys of being a tourist provider, you can charge for anything you like. Pointless considering there was no one policing it, there were photos being taken left right and centre. The hall was used for all sorts of events back in the day and served as the King’s court where records of the people’s complaints were kept in large bound books. There was also a set of windows through which royals had been thrown as they’d been viewed as upsetting the peace.

Back outside, I was happy to discover that there were Christmas markets in the next courtyard. I felt genuinely hungry for the first time in days and needed some warm food in my body. I was drawn to a vendor selling a creamy potato dish that I’d seen steaming in other people’s hands. Instead of that though, to avoid the milkiness, I went for a drier dish with potatoes and cabbage. While it did the job, and I got a large bowl, it wasn’t quite steaming so was basically cold within the first few mouthfuls. I tried not to be too disappointed, it was my first real meal in a while. I remained positive that it wouldn’t wreak any havoc later.

After a short wander through St. George’s chapel, which was a small affair, I walked through narrow laneways to come to Golden Lane. I think this was supposed to represent life within the castle ground back in the day (I’m not sure what century). I climbed a very narrow spiral staircase to an exhibit that displayed all forms of fighting throughout the old and middle ages. There was all styles of knights armour used in combat, jousting and for ornamental purposes. You could even shoot a crossbow if you felt the urge. The narrow corridors and staircases that wound through the tiny building were not made for two way traffic and are definitely not suited to ignorant people, which there were many. I stayed patient as I manoeuvred through the crowds, seeing all the shiny pieces of metal used to attack people and defend people.

I was happy to exit my last staircase into the relative space of a narrow laneway. Along the lane I peeked in at various house setups of the old age. Very modest compared to what we’ve become accustomed to today. After visiting a torture chamber in the basement of the Daliborka Tower, my legs were weary and I was ready to start heading back to the hostel and get out of the cold, in time to catch my Bla Bla. But not before visiting the last courtyard and seeing a random statue of a guy with a golden penis. No explanation, no plaque, nothing. Just a skinny naked guy with a shiny package.

I caught a few more nice views of the city on my way back and more statues of guys with their wangs out. It must be a Prague thing. Charles Bridge was nice to visit in the fading light, with heaps of street vendors lining the pavement selling their wares. I don’t know how they do it, standing in the cold all day in the hopes of making a few dollars. At least walking around in the cold I have changing scenery and movement to keep my slightly warm. On the last few streets I walked, I found a hole-in-the-wall shop selling the traditional Czech treat of Trdelnik (I have no idea how to pronounce that) and was happy that I felt well enough to buy me one. I’d seen so many people walking around with these I was desperate to try one. It was handed to me in a bag, steaming hot and coated in fine, sweet nuts, it was absolutely divine. Real food!

Back at the hostel, the bad feelings I’d been having in the back of my mind over the last few hours were confirmed. My Bla Bla ride for the night had been cancelled. This was the second time someone had cancelled on me so I was pissed. I was even more furious when I discovered that I’d missed the last train with a reasonable ticket price by twenty minutes. Argh! In desperation, I booked another Bla Bla car for 8pm, but wasn’t happy that I’d have to rely on someone replying to my request to get a confirmed ride, so I continued researching. I found a bus option that would cost me 30EUR and leave in two hours. There were three seats left. Done. I wasn’t going to rely on normal people, I wanted a company with actual service and guarantees, even if it did come at a slightly higher price. This was all possible with my iPhone. Within minutes of finding a price online, I’d downloaded the bus operator’s app, bought the ticket and had my ticket downloaded onto my phone. Amazing.

With my ticket sorted, it was all action. I had enough time to get to the bus station, but I wanted to be early so nothing else could go wrong. I went upstairs to my crappy room, pulled my bed sheets off, collected my bags, then descended the stairs to reception. I was pissed off to find no one in attendance. When I asked at the nearby office, they told me to wait for the person, but then the lady tried to help me when she saw my face of reaction to that statement. She was surprised that I wanted to check out at such a late time. It turns out she couldn’t help me and when her colleague returned, she faffed around not understanding why I wanted to leave then couldn’t find the key to open the cash drawer. Ah, the joys of paying for and staying in cheap-ass accommodation. Eventually I got my key deposit back and I was on my way.

Having bought a train ticket on my way home, I was all set to catch a train three stations to the bus station. That was seamless. Finding the bus station was a bit of a challenge, it wasn’t as obvious as I thought it would be and frustratingly, “bus station” in the Czech language does not look like either of those English words. Eventually I found that I was in the right place and I checked in at the bus operator’s office to see what platform I should wait at. Knowing that, I went in search of food to take with me on the four-hour ride. I bought a baguette from a small shop and a lady who did not seem happy to help me. Seems I wasn’t the only one not having the best day.

I sat and pondered while I waited an hour for my bus to arrive. In the mean time, I found that the Bla Bla I’d booked from Stuttgart to Cologne had cancelled on me. Right, no more. I looked at buses and trains and after being offended at some prices, I even checked Google flights where the flights weren’t feasible, but train trips showed up and they were cheaper than what the train provider’s website was offering, by a long way too! A bit sour at paying extra over what Bla Bla could offer me, I wanted the train experience, so I paid 40EUR for a trip to get me back to Sabrina’s place. I still have a Bla Bla booked between Munich and Stuttgart, but I will be happy for that to be my last ride with Bla Bla, if it doesn’t get cancelled!

After all that drama, I’m sitting on the bus now and I know I’m heading in the right direction because there’s a TV that’s showing our location and our route towards Munich. I’m due to arrive past midnight, but the saving grace is that the hostel I booked is only a five minute walk from the bus station. Hopefully nothing goes wrong there!

Public Transport Fact: When a bus trip is advertised as “non-stop” they will actually make two stops.